I’m Sinful Weak and Sorrowful

 

8868E659-B2E5-499A-BBBE-F3B24F8C708CWhen strong temptations are knocking at my door, I rebuke satan, in Jesus’ name, and turn to Our Lady…pray for us sinners now.  I suppose one could think, but she was sinless, what does she know about sin?  Nothing, but I imagine she knows a great deal about temptation.  I can’t imagine satan leaving her alone, this unblemished lamb, innocent, wholly devoted to God.  Even before she was known to the devil, as the Mother of God, he who couldn’t resist himself, would be tormented by one, who didn’t even glance his way.  Before satan knew she was the Theotokos (Mother of God), her life had to torment him.  Imagine his hatred for Our Lady after the Crucifixion, when he realized who she is.  He tempted Christ; he surely tempted Mother Mary…”God has died in the flesh, and hell trembles with fear” (from an ancient homily on Holy Saturday).  I imagine with her, he was his most cunning, relentless and evil.  So it is, if I need someone on my side, I want the pro.  Our Creator chose Mary to resist the temptations of satan, so much so that She was His choice to carry Christ within her womb, and hold Him in death.  She raised Him to adulthood. He was tortured, disgraced and misunderstood, and Mary, His mother, was present to it all, but without sin.  She watched her son through all of this, without sin.  I’d say if God trusted Mary, to remain sinless, then she would be the one to look to, when temptation strikes.

“So long as she (Blessed Mother) is in your mind, you are safe from deception.” – Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

Pray for us O Holy Mother of God that we may be worthy of the promises of Christ.

On This Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus

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 I heard about a woman, who’s child was tragically killed at the hands of another person.  She was burying the anger she felt. After she admitted the anger, she wasn’t tormented by it anymore.  I too have had these conflicting thoughts. One of my children was born with a health issue, a cross for their lifetime.  I can remember this conflict inside. I loved my child with everything I had, but I mourned the loss of health.  I was getting confused by what I knew to be true, my love for my child, and what satan wanted me to believe, that I couldn’t really love completely, if I mourned a lack of health. I felt so guilty about that, until I took it to a priest. He helped me see that I didn’t love my child less, and it was ok, to feel disappointed about what this meant for my baby’s future.

I think that evil likes to creep it’s way into some very beautiful moments, the birth of a baby, forgiveness for an assailant.  I think mourning and anger appropriate feelings in these situations, but I also believe that satan wants us not to see God’s mercy. Unfortunate events and tragedies will occur in our lives, but God will always bring us His merciful love.  I was empowered by acknowledging what I felt, because satan couldn’t use it anymore to make me feel ashamed, and God could love me in the truth.  Our minds and wills can get us to the right answer, and satan will always try to muddle that clarity.  Jesus’ heart finds us in the murky waters of our lives, when we can’t quite see our way.  When we can’t figure it all out, because evil is trying to flood us with confusion and point out our pain, we need to seek the Heart of Jesus, the love of God.  After all God became man to show us the way, because we were confused, and He, is Merciful Love.