I heard about a woman, who’s child was tragically killed at the hands of another person. She was burying the anger she felt. After she admitted the anger, she wasn’t tormented by it anymore. I too have had these conflicting thoughts. One of my children was born with a health issue, a cross for their lifetime. I can remember this conflict inside. I loved my child with everything I had, but I mourned the loss of health. I was getting confused by what I knew to be true, my love for my child, and what satan wanted me to believe, that I couldn’t really love completely, if I mourned a lack of health. I felt so guilty about that, until I took it to a priest. He helped me see that I didn’t love my child less, and it was ok, to feel disappointed about what this meant for my baby’s future.
I think that evil likes to creep it’s way into some very beautiful moments, the birth of a baby, forgiveness for an assailant. I think mourning and anger appropriate feelings in these situations, but I also believe that satan wants us not to see God’s mercy. Unfortunate events and tragedies will occur in our lives, but God will always bring us His merciful love. I was empowered by acknowledging what I felt, because satan couldn’t use it anymore to make me feel ashamed, and God could love me in the truth. Our minds and wills can get us to the right answer, and satan will always try to muddle that clarity. Jesus’ heart finds us in the murky waters of our lives, when we can’t quite see our way. When we can’t figure it all out, because evil is trying to flood us with confusion and point out our pain, we need to seek the Heart of Jesus, the love of God. After all God became man to show us the way, because we were confused, and He, is Merciful Love.